my secret...

I have been keeping a secret from you. Partially because I am afraid but mostly because I am so unsure of it. Nothing with you has ever been simple, there is always something to figure out and I kind of like that. In this sense though it is driving me crazy. Truth is I don't know what I want. All I knowknow is that when I get to see you I get butterflies. When I hear from you during the day...Nothing else matters, good or bad, hearing from you trumps everything else. When something happens to me, you are the first person I want to tell. You are the last thing I think about before I fall asleep each night and when it is really bad and I cant fall asleep, the only thing that helps is pretending you have your arms around me just like you used to. Being so close to you is hard sometimes and I still look at girls and get jealous that you might like them more than me or that because of them I will loose you. You are one of the most important people in my life, I dont know where it will take either of us in the future and I know at sometime thus will all be cleaned up but I hope where ever we go in life, we wi alwats be together.l