What happened?

Every day I live I can feel my self slowly slipping into someone I no longer recognize with ease. Each day when I look in the mirror, I study my fave and my body to try and find the person I once was. I  look at myself and wonder if I am changing into a different person of just becoming more myself. I look for outside inspiration to help me find answers, but it seem the more I do so, the more lost I seem to become. I don't know who I am, where I come from, or why I am here. Living blindly seemed to be working out for me. Less stress and worry. More happiness and laughter. What was it that kept me grounded for so long? Why is it I have lived my entire life to please everyone else? Could I be the person I was destined to be that has just been hiding behind the bullshit of a life I have been living the last twenty-two years? What does all this mean? When will clarity prevail and let me live my life how it is intended for me to live? I dig and dig for happiness on a daily basis and have convinced myself that I am even though I feel as though my entire world is going to crumble at the drop of a hat. I love being around people I feel no pressure from, but it is being with those exact people why I feel pressure. Because of the life I have previously lived I am expected to live a certain way. To act a certain way. only that way, it's not my way. I have become so lost in an identity that I have been building up for the last twenty-two years that I am not sure I will be able to dig my way out. Maybe being on my own will do the trick. Maybe it is just a matter of distincing myself from those who assume me to be a certain way, to act a certain way. Maybe it is those people are the reasons I am so lost in identity and life. I guess all I can really do now is survive the confusion. Be myself, whomever that may really be. Surround myself with those who make me feel good about myself regardless of my appearance, who I choose to see, the music i listen to or even the color of my skin. I want happiness, the one I had not too long ago.